We’re excited to announce the launch of our new product, the Memento Moridomo.

Combining the grandeur of having a slave whisper that you, too, will die in your ear at moments of your greatest triumphs with the modern convenience of an alarm clock, our revolutionary innovation reminds you of your impending death at regular 25-minute intervals, after which you can take a quick triumph break.

Remember to take a longer break every four impending deaths.

Achieve your triumphs. Remember death.